He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
