I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
