it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
