she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
