When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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