No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
