I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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