she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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