Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
