Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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