so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
