Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
