Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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