i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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