What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
