i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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