Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
