tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
