You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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