Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i would punch a child for taco bell
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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