alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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