It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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