omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
