your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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