Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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