Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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