she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
