I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
