K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
