On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
