ugly people sure do ruin things
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
