Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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