Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
