you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
