i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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