so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
