Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I cannot find my penis.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
