Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
