I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
