Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
