I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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