i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
