I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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