only if we run a train.
done.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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