my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
