The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
