Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
