you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
