dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
tequila makes me forget i have legs
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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