shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
