At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
